Press-Release #8: VICTORY!!
Fall Season Begins w/12-1 Win!
Yvette "Sneaky" Jardine prepares to
dash from third-base to home!Photo: M.SchoenIn their first game of the Fall season, our magnificent heroes crushed a highly-rated foe! Yet this victory was not by any means assured. In fact, the Spin-Offs entered the fray as the underdog; their foe - the nefarious "Hoosier Daddies" - was a team ranked more than 20% better than them. Yet by the end of the night, our brave band of adventurers had made The Daddies cry "uncle!"
In retrospect however, the omens were favorable. Long-time Spin-Offs fans will note that every time President Obama (aka
"Spin-Offs Fan#1") has driven-by or flown-over the field of battle, his favorite softball team has gone on to victory. And tonight was no exception. As the presidential motorcade left the White House and came cruising down 17th St., sirens blaring, a lone figure was seen poking his head and shoulders out of the window of a large black SUV. A spectator close to the road later told this author that she heard a loud female voice exclaim, from inside the SUV - "Barack! Get your head back inside the car right this instant!" Washington Insiders who have followed the gossipy blog
"Heard Around The Mall" will recall that this is not the first time that The First Lady has berated The President for shunning his duties in order to catch a glimpse of his beloved Spin-Offs! Nor, we suspect, will it be the last...
WELCOME!A big Spin-Offs welcome to the newest addition to the team,
GARRETT THOMPSON! Although his nickname is still undetermined, it is abundantly clear that GARRETT is a talented ball-player and a born Spin-Off! Sidelined by an injury during the Summer season, GT has been following the exploits of the team from his computer, hungry to get in on the action. On Thursday night he finally had his chance - and he fit right in! GARRETT proved himself to be a powerful hitter and a skilled fielder - not to mention an all-around nice guy! The Spin-Offs are glad to welcome him aboard!
A big Spin-Offs welcome is also due to
ERIK AMEND. Another longtime follower of the Team's exploits, ERIK had previously provided the team not only with useful advice - but had also recruited GARRETT! Yet during all that time, ERIK had remained in the shadows, supporting the team from afar. However, that changed on Thursday night,
when he joined the Team at The Capitol Lounge to help celebrate the Spin-Offs' latest victory!
AWARDS:
THE MVP AWARD goes to
YVETTE "SNEAKY" JARDINE, who forcibly stopped one of the opponent's players from scoring a run at home plate! Thursday night saw YVETTE alternating between covering 3B and the catcher's position. In the top of the second inning, the foe was at-bat and YVETTE was behind the plate: Runners on first and second; one out. A line-drive to deep center field sent the opponent's runners dashing around the diamond. As the first of them - a fast and powerfully built young-man - came barreling around third-base, the Spin-Offs' cut-off man threw the ball to YVETTE - who promptly blocked the base path in order to tag the runner out! The massive runner, unable to check his momentum, bowled YVETTE over; the two of them ending up in a heap on the ground. "He's out!" came the call!! YVETTE calmly stood up and dusted herself off. Mud-stained and bruised, she walked back to home plate - amidst the cheers of her teammates! Well Done SNEAKY!
THE BELATED MVP AWARD: It is no secret that Spin-Offs are tough - man or woman. Recently, during a close game against The Lefties,
JESSICA "JNAV" NAVARRETE was invovled in a situation nearly identical to the one YVETTE found herself in. Although CAPTAIN SCHOEN did not have time to write-up that game in a press release, JNAV's heroism should be recorded - and applauded!
And while we're speaking of past games in which players didn't get their due, big props must be given to
MARQUIS "TRIPLE-TREAT" BRANTLEY and
CHRIS "TRANSPORTER" SAUNDERS! While these two gentleman played - as always - with distinction in Thursday night's game, their greatest accomplishments as of late actually occurred during a prior game!
THE GRAND-SLAM THANK-YOU MA'AM AWARD goes to
MARQUIS BRANTLEY. Now and then the Spin-Offs do lose a game. (I know - it's hard to believe!) Nonetheless, in one such instance, MARQUIS found himself up to bat at the bottom of the final inning, with two outs, no-one on base, and his team down by four runs. Always the enthusiastic optimist, MARQUIS buoyed his team's spirits by jokingly, but exuberantly pronouncing "I'm gonna hit a grand-slam!" Unfortunately, the field was in the landing pattern of Regan National Airport, and MARQUIS'S subsequent long-fly-ball to deep center field ricochetted off of a low flying airliner - and fell right into the fielder's hand. Nonetheless, as MARQUIS trotted back from the infield, his team met him with cheers and carried him off on their shoulders! (The Agency subsequently issued a NOTAM stating that a TFR shall be established within half-a-mile radius of MARQUIS every time he steps to the plate. ;) (For Spin-Offs fans not familiar with Agency lingo, a NOTAM is a "Notice to Airman" (e.g. pilots), and a TFR is a "Temporary Flight Restriction.")
THE NIGHT VISION AWARD goes to
CHRIS SAUNDERS. In the top of the seventh and final inning of a previous game (Spin-Offs v. Lefties), the outcome was anything but certain - yet darkness was falling fast. With two outs, a Lefties' hitter smashed a deep fly ball - but it was so dark that not even he knew in which direction the ball went! Meanwhile, TRANSPORTER was playing deep in the shadows of left field. He calmly but loudly stated "Got It!" This exclamation was followed immediately thereafter by the crack of a ball smacking into the pocket of a mitt. Not long after this miraculous catch, the captain of the other team approached CAPTAIN SCHOEN in a huff. With a copy of the League's Rules in hand, the captain indignantly pointed out "that Section 145(b)(2) clearly states that 'players shall not wear night-vision goggles during regular season games.'" (It took some doing to convince the opposing captain that there were no night vision goggles involved in this amazing play!)
As it turns out, the darkness continued to work in favor of the black-shirted Spin-Offs. The Lefties were garbed in white - easily seen on the field no matter how dark it got. In contrast, once a Spin-Offs' batter hit the ball and headed to first base, he or she disappeared into the night as if wearing an invisibility cloak! Thus even when the foes were able to find the ball after scrabbling around in the dark, they were never able to see which base they needed to throw it too! After our heroes cycled through the batting order 17 times in this fashion, the captain of the other team dejectedly admitted that there was no way his players could rally to overcome a 236-run deficit.
Final Score: Lefties 7; Spin-Offs 243!One final note about the game against The Lefties:
JOHN "JUGGERNAUT" GULISANO was fresh off of the DL and ready to show the foe that he hadn't gotten rusty in his time on the bench. As he stepped to the plate for his first post-recovery at-bat, CAPTAIN SCHOEN yelled, "Let's make some noise for JOHN!" A passing trucker heard this exhortation and responded by blowing his air horn! JOHN in turn crushed the ball and drove home a few runs! 10-4 Good Buddy!
THE FASHIONISTA AWARD goes to the talented and ever-fabulous
JACQUELINE "J.P." PINO! Although JACQUELINE plays for both the Flyers and The Spin-Offs, she arrived at the game on Thursday night wearing not only her black Spin-Offs jersey, but also
black nail polish! Looking quite stylish, she proceeded to savage the foe, both
at-bat, and in the field! Our caps are off to you, Senorita Fashionista!
THE "GOOD EFFORT" AWARD: Why is it that every time The Spin-Offs have an after-hours happy hour at
The Capitol Lounge, one or more of the male players ends up in the womens' restroom?
ALEKS "TROUBLE" DAMSZ demonstrated the aptness of her new nickname last Thursday by instigating the latest foray into the ladies' powder room. As most Spin-Offs know, they have absolutely no idea how old their pitcher is. When polled, their guesses included 25, 34, 42, and 121. (As it turns out, the last respondent was a little "sauced", and thought the question was "how many games have the Spin-Offs won?") Back to the story though, young ALEKS took it upon herself to resolve the mystery. Snatching the pitcher's ID, she dashed into the ladies' room, confident that she would find asylum long enough to read the DOB line on the license. Alas, she was mistaken. ;)
See you next week Spin-Offs!
And as always, Hail Cesar (Collantes)!
